Deprogramming
by Scarlet Eve
Summary: [Chapter 9 Posted] "Alpha, under the codename Heero Yuy, will pilot Wing to Earth, along with the other four. Should Alpha survive this mission, he will go undercover as a student. I can feel that the tides of government will be changing."
1. Prologue

Deprogramming

Prologue: Lost Recordings

by Scarlet Eve

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><p><em>February twentieth, after colony one nine one - The following procedure was requested by Dekim Barton. An incident occurred during which Alpha expressed extreme remorse and sadness to an unfortunate accident. Barton believes that emotions in this boy will be his downfall. It was suggested to experiment using Alpha with the chip that has been under development for some time. It is thought that after this procedure is complete and the adjustment period has taken place, the boy will not feel the same sting of emotions as normal people. It will also increase his endurance and strength./_

_/February twenty second, after colony one nine one - The installation has been complete. Currently, Alpha is still under sedation. I imagine that it will take his body several weeks to adjust to the chip, during which time we will monitor his vitals and begin the tests./_

_/March first, after colony one nine one - The results are astounding! Alpha has had the chip for seven days, and already he is showing signs of super-human abilities. His senses are heightened dramatically, and he is already exhibiting increased strength and concentration. Even after the most grueling tasks, his heart rate only increases by a small amount./_

_/June sixth, after colony one nine one - Perhaps this device is working too well. Alpha has become withdrawn from other human contact and tends to prefer solitude. Even so, his performance and intelligence continues to grow, as the device makes him more studious and focused on the task at hand. He has a strong proficiency for weapons, mechanics and strategy. But still, he rarely speaks. Perhaps after some time the effects will level out./_

_/November thirteenth, after colony one nine one - Alpha has begun to learn advanced battle tactics. As expected, he is learning rapidly and excelling at a fast pace. After a year, he has already bypassed the control subjects, even those who are older and have been training longer. It really is remarkable. I believe this boy will be the key to piloting our precious Wing./_

_/December second, after colony one nine one - Something happened today that has both disgusted me and inspired me. During training, Alpha made a slight miscalculation and broke his arm. He simply sat up and using his legs and other arm, set the bone back in place and simply wrapped the arm in a stiff bandage. I have never seen anything like it. And he did not make a sound except for a grunt of effort. Truly remarkable./_

_/June fifth, after colony one nine two - I have introduced Alpha to the Wing. Initial tests show he has a high aptitude for piloting the suit, as expected. Training will continue, and when all are ready, Operation Meteor will commence./_

_/April first, after colony one nine five - Alpha, under the codename Heero Yuy, will pilot Wing to Earth, along with the other four. Should Alpha survive this mission, he will go undercover as a student. I can feel that the tides of government will be changing./_

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><p>AN: I have been struggling to write something worth putting up here, so I hope you'll like this story! I've been working on it for a while. :-)

-SE


	2. Chapter 1

Deprogramming

Chapter 1

-Scarlet Eve

A/N: I'm bad at keeping chapters from you guys, and pretty want to post most of my stuff all at once. :-D Anyway, here's chapter 1!

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><p><strong>October, A.C. 201<strong>

_Trowa_

Trowa sat at his desk with large pieces of paper spread out in front of him. There were several stick figures drawn out, and he was using a pencil to erase and redraw some of the figures. The Ringleader had finally asked him to come up with a new act for the circus, but demanded that it didn't involve mobile suits. He was lost in concentration while trying to image this new routine and draw it out at the same time, when his vid-phone began to ring. Not really in any hurry to answer, he pushed his chair away from his desk, spun, and pulled himself towards the vid-phone. He pressed a button and a familiar face appeared on the screen. It was Relena's chauffeur.

"Hello Robert," Trowa said.

"Hello Mr. Barton. I'm sorry to trouble you- again- but the Foreign Minister seems to have run off," Robert said, pressing a hand to his face in exasperation. "I wish she wouldn't do this all the time," he added. Trowa nodded.

"I will go bring her home safely. Take the rest of the night off. I'll keep an eye on her," Trowa said. Robert looked grateful, and said good bye. Trowa disconnected the line and rose from the chair. He glanced out the window of his trailer and saw that a light rain was falling. He grabbed a long trench coat out of the closet and headed out the door.

Catherine was nearby, practicing her balancing on the wet grass. She lifted a hand in greeting, her leg remaining perfectly steady. "Where are you going?" she called.

"Relena," Trowa said. Catherine nodding knowingly, then resumed her practice. She hopped up with the foot she was balancing on and switched to the other foot without a single wobble, then stretched her arms out and began to turn in the soft grass. Trowa smiled at her, then continued on to his car. He climbed in the driver's seat and turned the car on and drove it out to the main road.

The rain pattered lightly against the windshield, causing an annoying smear of water when the wipers slid across the glass. The music on the radio was classical, and turned low. It was always calming to Trowa to listen to it, and usually helped him to prepare for the volcanic Relena. He hoped that this time she was only smoldering and not ready to blow. As he drove, he mused about the few places that Relena could be. She didn't tend to vary her disappearance locations. He decided to try the place that she frequented most often: a seedy bar along a mostly abandoned stretch of town. He turned down the increasingly familiar street and drove slowly, looking for a parking spot along the road. He soon found a spot between a large truck and a small sedan, and Trowa swiftly parallel parked into the spot.

He climbed out of the car and pulled the collar of his trench coat up around his ears. The rain was coming down more steadily now, forming little puddles in the concaves of the sidewalk. Trowa stepped over one such puddle towards a wooden door, the paint peeling and flaking, pushed the door in and stepped inside out of the rain. Trowa disapproved of this location, but she never seemed to have problems when she came there. The sign overhead read "The Soldier's Bar." Trowa's eyes slowly adjusted to the gloom of the establishment, and he immediately saw Relena sitting at the bar, an empty shot glass and some kind of fruity looking martini in front of her. She was resting her elbow on the bar, and her hand cupped her chin, and she appeared to be staring off into space. Her long blonde hair fell over her shoulders and past her breast. Trowa frowned. She didn't take much care to disguise herself this time, but at least no one was bothering her. Trowa crossed the bar and stood beside her.

It was a moment before Relena noticed him. She turned her head towards him and groaned.

"What?" she asked. Trowa arched his eyebrows. "What?" she said again, and more insistently. Trowa just continued to stare at her. Finally, she groaned again, dug out some bills from her purse and tossed them on the bar. Before standing up, she downed the rest of her martini, and stood up from the stool. Trowa shook his head slightly, but she wasn't paying any attention to him. She pulled her long coat on over her shoulders and buttoned it up to her chin, threw her purse strap over her shoulder and looked up at him expectantly.

"I'm ready," she said. Trowa nodded and waited for her to walk ahead of him. He followed behind her out of the bar, his hand trailing lightly on her lower back to keep her from trying to run off. Once outside, Relena spoke.

"Robert called you again, didn't he?" she asked. Trowa nodded. He wasn't going to scold her this time. She'd heard it enough times, and would usually finish his sentences for him. "That man is insufferable. I should fire him," she said, a bit of a whine creeping into her voice.

"I'm sorry Relena, but I'm just doing what Heero asked me to do," Trowa said. Relena snorted in a very unladylike way.

"Heero," she mumbled. Trowa opened the passenger door to his car for her, and she climbed inside. Trowa climbed in the driver's side and started up the engine again.

"He just wants you to be safe," Trowa said. Relena shrugged her shoulders.

"For all we know, he's blown to bits out in space," Relena said, her expression dark. Trowa flinched.

"Don't say that Relena. It's not true," he said.

"I don't know that," she said, then turned her head away. That was her way of ending the conversation. Trowa heaved a sigh and pulled the car out of the parking spot and began driving towards Relena's home.

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><p><em>Three Years Ago<em>

Trowa got the call in the middle of the night. He was woken up from a dead sleep when his vid-phone began to ring. He climbed out of bed, hoping it wasn't a disaster of some kind. When he pressed the button to make the connection, Heero's face appeared. He looked worn and tired, with dark circles under his eyes. His hair was a mess and his clothes rumpled.

"Heero, what is it?" Trowa asked, feeling a sense of urgency creeping up his spine. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. I need you do to me a big favor," Heero said.

"Anything," Trowa said.

"I need you to keep an eye on Relena for me," he said. Trowa raised an eyebrow in surprise. He frowned.

"Why?"

"I'm going away for a while. To space," he said. For a moment, it seemed that was all Heero was going to disclose. But he began to speak again. "I have been decrypting Dr. J's old archives. I found some information pertaining to... my training. I have to go see if any of the information is true."

"Even in death, Dr. J is still controlling lives. That man is like a damn cockroach," Trowa said.

Heero nodded. "I believe that what I found might be important to my adjustment to peace. Zero is involved as well."

"Zero?" Heero nodded, but his mouth remained closed. It seemed that Trowa was not going to get any other information out of Heero. "I see," Trowa replied. "So you need me to watch out for Relena. Don't you think she'll be alright on her own?"

"She has a habit of getting herself into trouble," Heero said with a slight smile on his face. Trowa let out a laugh.

"True, but how long will you be gone?"

"I don't know. But this is necessary. I'm sure Relena is going to be angry at me when she finds out that I'm gone," Heero said.

"Are you even going to tell her?

"I left a note." Both men were silent for a moment. Trowa was processing the information from Heero.

"I'll grant you this favor," Trowa said. "Provided that you return."

"Thank you. I want her to be okay when I return-" he paused for a moment. "Everything I do from now on is for her." Trowa had to suppress the urge to be very surprised. He controlled his facial features to remain neutral. He knew this admission by Heero was a rare one, and he didn't want to break that level of trust they'd developed.

"Of course," Trowa said finally. Heero thanked him and cut the connection. Trowa leaned back in his chair and mused about the situation for a while. Trowa could feel how angry Relena would be when Heero turned up missing. Heero had been periodically staying with Relena, and everyone thought they'd resolved their issues and would eventually come together as a whole. But it seemed all that effort would be for naught. Heero was going to disappear again, and Relena would not take it well.

Trowa was not there when Relena found the note from Heero. He heard about it from Quatre, who heard from Noine, Relena's primary confidant. Apparently Relena went into somewhat of a rage over it, but eventually calmed down after she locked herself in her bedroom and sobbed for a few hours. Sources who witnessed the event said that she was upset because she was afraid that he was going to either kill someone or kill himself, and there was nothing she could do it about. She spent a couple of weeks grilling everyone for information, but it became apparent that no one knew anything, except for Trowa of course. But he wouldn't tell her anything except that he was asked to keep an eye on her.

Quatre had also received a copy of the text of the letter, forwarded to him by Noine. Quatre forwarded this onto Trowa. Heero basically told her nothing about what he was doing, just that he was going away for a while and to not worry. Typical Heero.

Relena gave up her efforts to find him pretty quickly, a change from her previous efforts during the war. She fell into a sullen mood for a long time, but was careful to hide it. On the outside, she continued to succeed as the Vice Foreign Minister, and when she turned twenty, she was promoted the position of Foreign Minister. But behind closed doors, she was almost a different person. The smile flashed less often, and her eyes remained lowered and sad. It was a sort of depression that settled over her like a thick blanket, and most times, it was difficult to rouse her from that state. Trowa assumed that's why she took to sneaking out to seedy bars. It was her way of rebelling against Heero, who had made a habit of keeping Relena from anything that could potentially be dangerous. Trowa wanted to tell Relena that Heero was alright, but he didn't know for sure, either. A few times, he'd tried to get in touch with Heero, but was unsuccessful each time.

Now his life for the last several years has been composed of working for the circus and pulling Relena from places where she should never go without some kind of bodyguard. He didn't mind. He knew that Relena was lonely and needed a friend around that wasn't part of her staff. But as more and more time passed, he saw her losing faith in Heero ever returning, and it made him afraid that when Heero did return, that she wouldn't take him back. Trowa had always been one to believe that Heero and Relena needed each other, but now Trowa was beginning to feel that things would never be the same again.

It didn't help that his own feelings were beginning to get in the way as well...

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><p>-SE<p> 


	3. Chapter 2

**Deprogramming**

**Chapter 2**

by Scarlet Eve

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><p><em>January, A.C. 199<em>

_Heero_

It has been three months since Heero disappeared from Earth to return to L1. When he arrived at the old training facility and laboratory of Dr. J, he found it silent and coated with dust. Several machines and computers were destroyed, most likely by Dr. J, in an attempt to keep anyone from discovering any unsavory secrets about what kind of things went on there.

But Dr. J clearly didn't anticipate that Heero would ever come back to the lab, otherwise he would have been smart and burned the place down. Nothing could hide from him. So after three months, he'd managed to collect a stockpile of folders, disks, hard drives and recordings pertaining to the time that Heero spent with Dr. J.

The recordings were the most important discovery. Several audio clips made by Dr. J about some procedure that was done to Alpha, who was of course, Heero. The recordings detail the research and development of a small chip, to be implanted inside of a human, suppressing normal human emotions and drawing out abilities that are useful in war, thereby creating a "super soldier." The recordings made mention of the chip being implanted inside of Heero, though he was unable to recall any memories of such a procedure.

He would have to keep digging.

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><p><em>October, A.C. 201<em>

_Trowa_

Trowa stopped his car outside of the Darlian estate. The rain was falling even harder now; large drops splattered over the car and the road, creating a loud din of noise. Trowa put the car in park and shut off the engine. He waited.

The two sat in silence for a while. Finally, Relena let out a long sigh and glanced at Trowa.

"Thank you for the ride home," she said. She was fidgeting with her purse, which was sitting in her lap. Trowa nodded.

"Do you want company?" he asked her. Relena shook her head.

"Not tonight," she replied. She looked back out the window and pulled her coat tighter around herself.

"Relena..." Trowa began, but trailed off when he realized he had no idea what he wanted to say to her. There were so many things, but none of them seemed appropriate.

"I'll talk to you later," Relena said. She leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek, then pulled the handle of the door and stepped outside into the rain. She slammed the door shut and hurried up the steps to the front door.

Trowa watched her disappear inside, and then sighed himself. He'd been feeling the situation slipping through his fingers for several months now. She was becoming more withdrawn, even from him. And if Heero _did_ return...

Trowa drove back to his trailer at the circus. The rain had not bothered to let up. When he arrived, he had to trudge his way through the damp grass, his shoes leaving temporary prints in the soaking dirt. When he got inside, he called Quatre.

"Hello Trowa," Quatre said, a large smile on his face. "How is it going?"

"Fine. Had to pick up Relena again today," he said. Quatre sighed.

"Where was she this time?"

"That Soldier's Bar place," Trowa said. Quatre shook his head.

"It's not safe," he said.

"She doesn't listen."

"And you haven't heard from Heero at all?" Trowa shook his head. "I'm worried about her. I honestly didn't think that she would take it this hard, or that he'd be gone this long."

"She believes him to be, and I quote, "blown to bits out in space,"" Trowa said.

"He's going to have a rough time with her when he returns," Quatre said.

"Most likely," Trowa said.

"Well I've got to be going. Do what you can with her. I believe the annual Fall Ball is coming up, so perhaps we can get her to have a good time with that," Quatre said.

"Perhaps. Bye Quatre."

"Bye."

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><p><em>June, A.C. 199<em>

_Heero_

Heero was using the large screen in the control room to view the new data he'd discovered. On the screen was a large diagram of his body, though smaller and less developed. His fourteen year old body. Heero shifted through the images, inspecting each one as it passed by. In his gut, he knew he was close to some kind of answer. He'd already found a file of some complex programming that he'd not yet bothered to try and decode.

More information about the chip had been uncovered, and Heero was beginning to connect some dots together, but there were still conflicts. Surely, the emotion suppressing had worked on him, due to his near inability to live by his own advice. And the strength, agility, and recovery abilities were strong within him - memories resurfaced of setting his own bones, performing feats that no one else could, and surviving when others would have perished.

A picture showing the back of Heero's head, neck and shoulders appeared on the screen. Heero squinted at the picture. On the left side of his neck, in the back, was a small marking. Heero rose from his place on the floor and stepped up to the large screen, trying to get a better look. It was a small black object, resting a few inches away from his spinal chord. Heero frowned and reached out to touch the black spot on the screen, then reached to his neck and felt around with his fingers. After pressing and sliding his fingers around, he located the device. It was a small, square shaped object somewhere below his skin. When he tried, he could distinctly feel the outline of the object.

"What did you do to me?" Heero asked the empty room.

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><p>AN: Thanks so much for the reviews!

-SE


	4. Chapter 3

Deprogramming  
>Chapter 3<p>

by Scarlet Eve

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><p><em>October, A.C. 201<em>

_Relena_

Relena was pacing, as she was apt to do lately. Her hands were clasped behind her back and she walked back and forth along the same path in her home office. The carpet was already beginning to show signs of wear. Her extreme restlessness kept her from standing still for too long, and if required, her hands would usually begin to twitch, and she would end up playing with a pen or doodling- something she never used to do when she was younger.

When Heero left, she spent much of her time brooding about him. But as the years past and his silence grew louder, she began to slowly let him go from her mind. She told herself in the beginning that she would hold on, that her love for him was too strong to falter. It soon became clear to her that this was not true. For a time, she also tried to convince herself that it was the manner of his leaving that was causing her to stop feeling for him, but she knew this wasn't true either.

The sad truth that she'd come to accept in the last year was that Heero was gone on some mission, and was most likely dead. The day she told herself this, and actually accepted it as truth, she'd stood outside in the rain and let him go from her heart. It was better this way, she would tell herself. She couldn't allow herself to hurt for the rest of her life, just because he was gone.

This time, Relena was brooding about the ball that was coming up at the end of the month. The current President of the ESUN started it, partially to celebrate his birthday. But the man loved parties, and threw them whenever he could. Relena was beginning to only tolerate them by now. However, because of "Service to the World for Helping to Instill Peace," the former Gundam pilots were invited every year, along with their dates, under the guise of being regular soldiers in the military. So at least her friends would be there. Then of course, a few months from then, would be the Eve Wars Remembrance events, which Relena was always expected to attend, for being an integral part of both wars. At least her friends were always invited to those events as well.

A light knock at the door pulled Relena from her thoughts. She crossed the floor to open the door. Pagan's nurse was standing on the other side.

"Good evening ma'am. Pagan was wondering if you would like to have tea with him," she said. Relena smiled.

"Of course," she replied, and followed the nurse through the home to Pagan's rooms. His health had been in decline as of late, and since he did not have any other family, Relena kept him well cared for in her home. When she arrived at his rooms, he was propped up in his bed. A table already held the essentials for tea, with a tea pot, cups and a few snacks. Pagan smiled brightly at her when she walked in the door.

"Thank you for taking up my offer, Miss Relena," he said, his voice weak with the effort. Relena shook her head.

"I would never pass it up," she said. She took a seat beside the bed and poured a cup of tea for Pagan and handed it up to him. She poured one for herself and settled back in her chair.

"I heard you snuck off again," Pagan said. Relena glanced away.

"Yes," she said. She felt like an insolent child whenever Pagan spoke to her that way.

"Three years is a long time to be so moody, Relena," Pagan said. Relena looked up at him. She wasn't expecting that comment.

"I-" Pagan cut her off.

"I can understand you being upset that Mr. Yuy took off, but you must not let it affect you this much. I thought you'd get over it after a few months, but this mood of yours has persisted for too long. You are putting yourself in danger as well," he said. He had to stop, as he was breathing deeply at the effort of scolding the young woman. Relena took a deep breath herself, and let herself say the words she'd been trying to convince herself of for a long time.

"I know that I have not been acting like an adult," she said. "It's not just that he left. It's many things," she said. Pagan raised his eyebrows, indicating for her to continue. "I miss my friends, I miss my brother and Noine. Aside from you and Trowa when he comes to pick me up, I feel lonely," she said. Pagan nodded. "It's hard to make new friends when people only see you as the Foreign Minister and are too afraid to say anything to you," she added.

Pagan reached out to her and took her hand in his. "I can understand that, Relena," he said.

"Before he disappeared again, we were developing something akin to friendship, and I thought everything would be fine, but then..." She trailed off, looking away. "Is it silly to be so upset about all this?" she asked. Pagen looked at her with sympathy.

"It is not silly, Relena. I know you had strong feelings for Heero Yuy. But there are many people out there who could make you happy," Pagen said, though the look in his eyes told Relena that he only partially believed his own words. "Besides, you are so young and your life has revolved around politics. You should be out living a normal life, but you're stuck here," he finished with a smile.

"I must be the only person in the world who loves her job with all her heart but has a crappy social life," Relena said, pouting a bit. Pagan laughed, which sounded more like a wheeze.

"This is your chance to continue to make yourself into a strong, independant woman. There are young girls all over the world who look up to you. It is a lot of pressure to be a role model, but if anyone can do it, you can. You will be alright, whatever happens down the road," Pagan said. "Have some fun with life, even if people are too afraid to speak to you as anything other than the Foreign Minister."

"Thank you Pagan," Relena said. "You always know how to make me feel better." Relena gave his hand a squeeze and smiled, and soon, Pagan was drifting off to sleep. Relena carefully took the tea cup from his hand and set it beside him on the table. She watched his sleeping form for a moment longer before quietly leaving his room.

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><p><em>February, A.C. 200<br>_

_Heero_

Everyday, Heero would reach up and touch the little square in his neck, then resume his research.

He managed to uncover a plethora of information that he thought might be lost or destroyed- about Operation Meteor, about key figures during the wars, about Zero, and about the little device in his neck.

Dr. J had been developing a chip for a long time, one that would turn regular humans into super humans, with heightened senses, increased strength, and the most important part- suppressed emotions in order to make them better soldiers on the battlefield. Dr. J continued to work on it until Barton asked Heero to be the first test subject. After the operation, all research and development of the chip came to a halt. From what Heero could discern from the rantings of Dr. J, he was afraid of the results. He thought it was working too well. That Heero had become too much of a "Perfect Soldier." And it scared the old man.

Which was why Dr. J did not go along with the original Operation Meteor. He knew that if Heero were released out into the world with that mission in mind, it would surely have been completed to its fullest extent. So Dr. J changed his mind, contacted his peers, and set the Gundam Pilots out with a different mission, one that would result in better outcomes for the good of the Earth and Colonies.

The most unsettling part of the chip, Heero discovered, was that much the the programming matched the programming of the Zero system. Heero was, in a sense, Zero. The thought made his stomach churn.

At night, he lay in bed thinking about the people he'd brought into his own circle over the years: the other Gundam pilots, Relena, the girls, Zechs- even if they were still rivals, Noine, Une...

Heero realized that at any time, he could have slipped up and killed them all. He had tried to kill Relena many times, but she was like a signal jam: she always left him confused and unable to complete his missions.

He spent several months trying to decide whether or not he wanted to remove the chip from his neck. He knew it might be dangerous, but he was also insanely curious about what would happen if it was gone. And he also considered what would happen if he couldn't handle his own emotions without being controlled. He was essentially afraid of going ballistic.

His resolve was made up when he was trying to relax one evening, watching the news. Relena was there, making a speech. Heero couldn't help but notice the sad look on her face while she spoke, that her cheekbones stood out on her face, and the circles under her eyes that could never really be covered by makeup. When her speech was over, she was approached by a man, who took her hands and kissed her cheek, while the crowd cheered for her.

Heero didn't know who that man was or why he was touching Relena, but Heero knew that he should be the one with her. He made up his mind. He couldn't linger here in Dr. J's old files much longer.

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><p>-SE<p> 


	5. Chapter 4

Deprogramming  
>Chapter 4<p>

by Scarlet Eve

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><p><em>November, A.C. 201<em>

_Trowa_

A few weeks had gone by and Trowa hadn't been called by Robert to go find Relena. After a performance a few weeks later, he had a bad feeling in his chest, and he couldn't stop thinking about Relena. After trying to ignore the feeling for a while, he finally decided to go check up on her. He put on a pair of pants and pulled his long trench coat over his clothes to keep out the night chill. As he was leaving, Catherine was walking across the grass towards him.

"Are you off to rescue Relena?" she asked.

"No, I just have a bad feeling. I'm going to check up on her," he said.

"I'll come with you," she said. Trowa nodded, and the two of them climbed into his car. They drove away from the circus and towards Relena's home.

When they arrived, there were many lights on, shining through the windows. The two of them climbed out of the car and quickly climbed the steps. When Trowa knocked on the door, it was opened almost immediately by the doorman. Seems he had been waiting by the door.

"Master Trowa, Miss Catherine," he said with a nod of his head. "We are having a rough night tonight."

"What's going on?" Trowa said, his anxiety mounting.

"Pagan, Relena's old butler and companion, has had heart failure. We are waiting on the ambulance to arrive," he said. Trowa and Catherine blinked at the man, then sprinted past him and up the steps. Trowa led the way through the halls until he arrived at the area where Pagan's rooms were. After they turned a corner, they saw Relena pacing down the hallway.

"Relena," he called, slowing to a walk when he neared her. She looked up and saw her two friends. Her face was red and blotchy from crying. Trowa held his arms out to her, and she ran to him.

"Oh Trowa," she cried into his shoulder. Trowa's hand automatically went up to her head and his other arm around her waist. Her chest was heaving through her sobs. Catherine placed her arms around Relena as well. Trowa wanted to say something to comfort her, but he didn't know what to say. He figured it would be best if he just let her cry. As they stood in the hallway, a young woman in nurse's scrubs stepped out of the room. She looked distraught, and she too, had tears in her eyes.

"Miss Relena," she said quietly. Relena let go of Trowa and Catherine to turn around. "He's gone," she said.

"No..." Relena said quietly. She brushed past the nurse into Pagan's room. Trowa and Catherine followed and watched her from the doorway. She had laid herself down over his chest, holding one of his hands in hers. Her shoulders were heaving again as the sobs renewed themselves. The nurse brushed past Trowa and stepped into the room. She laid a hand on Relena's shoulder, and the two women shared their sorrow.

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><p><em>November, A.C. 201<em>

_Relena_

It rained the day of the funeral. The sky was an endless slate of gray, and the lack of wind meant the rain fell straight down from the clouds. But the rain was cold, and smelled of fall and the forthcoming snow.

Trowa and Catherine attended it with Relena. Her other friends were unable to make arrangements with such short notice. And many of the people who had known Pagan during his life were already gone. Because of his attachment to Relena, a few smaller news crews and reporters showed up, however, they kept a respectable distance from Relena and the others. The small congregation collected in the first few pews of the small, stone church, a short distance outside of the city limits of Brussels. His casket was covered in flowers, which were damp from the pouring rain.

During the ceremony, Relena tried her best to hold back her sorrow. She made a speech about him, about his life and of his service to her and her family. A few others who had known him spoke as well. Relena did her very best to put up a thick, iron wall around herself, to keep others from seeing her emotions.

It wasn't until they were lowering his casket into the grave that Relena allowed herself to cry. Trowa and Catherine both wrapped their arms around her to give her comfort, while Relena's driver, Robert, held a large umbrella over the four of them. When the men who lowered the casket backed away from the hole, Relena stepped forward out of her friends' embrace and into the rain. She stood at the edge of the grave, staring down at the gleaming casket, which was already becoming criss crossed by trailed of mud and rain. She tossed down a handful of flowers. Others stepped up around her to toss in handfuls of dirt and flowers as well, as they committed him to his eternal resting place. Relena stepped back and brushed her face with the back of her hand, though she was wasn't sure if the wetness were tears, or just the rain.

Trowa and Catherine led her away from the grave as the funeral attendees began to disperse. Relena and Catherine's heels sank into the wet mud, making the slow walk more painful than necessary. Finally, they reached the car and Trowa helped both women into the limo. He climbed in after them and shut the door. Robert shook out the umbrella the best he could, and slipped into the driver's seat.

"Want to go home?" Trowa asked. Relena shook her head.

"I want to go have a drink," she said. Relena heard Trowa and Robert sigh, but without a word, Robert started the engine, and drove the small group towards The Solder's Bar.

When they arrived, the three of them, rain soaked and slightly muddy, stepped into the bar. It was warm and smelled slightly musty inside. Relena led the three of them to the bar. She didn't notice that everyone in the bar was staring openly at her. She sat down on her regular stool and leaned forward. Catherine and Trowa flanked her on either side. The bartender, a woman, walked down the bar and stood in front of Relena.

"I was real sorry to hear what happened to your friend, Miss Relena," she said. Relena smiled sadly.

"Thank you Marie," Relena said.

"I'll bring the three of you drinks, on the house," she said. Relena thanked her again, and soon, there were a couple of drinks on the table in front of them. Marie set out four shot glasses and filled them with some top shelf whiskey. The four of them clinked the shot glasses together as Marie said, "To life after loved ones are gone." The four knocked back the shot and set the glasses down on the counter. The unfamiliar taste of whiskey burned down Relena's throat, making her wince. But right now, it was the kind of burning she needed to stay grounded.

* * *

><p>-SE<p> 


	6. Chapter 5

Deprogramming  
>Chapter 5<p>

by Scarlet Eve

* * *

><p><em>November 30, A.C. 201<em>

_Relena_

Relena was hiding. It had been hard enough for her to wake up that day, and to dress and prepare for the Fall Ball. The last thing she wanted to do was attend a party, full of people who could talk endlessly for hours, about nothing in particular. She didn't want to be asked about Mars, or any of the other projects she was working on. She didn't want to participate in idle gossip about other members of the government. She just wanted to go home, put her pajamas back on, and crawl into bed for days.

She'd found herself still reeling from the death of Pagan. She had been so absorbed in her own life that she barely noticed how much he did for her, or near the end, how much he delegated to the nurse who took care of him. Simple things, such as laying out the proper coat for the day, bringing her tea when she was lost in her work, and in general, keeping the house spotless. Relena knew she had to hire a housekeeper, but the thought made her cringe. Much of her had no desire to bring another new person into her life. Not so soon, anyway.

"Hey there, princess," a friendly voice said to her. Relena shook herself out of her thoughts and glanced up. Duo, dressed in a tuxedo, and actually looking put together, was pressed up against the wall beside her. Relena had found a drape which matched her dress, red and orange, so it was easy to blend in. Duo acted like he was hiding, when in reality, he just looked silly.

"Duo," Relena said. He handed her a glass of wine. "Thank you."

"You aren't quite as good at hiding in the shadows as our friends. For one thing, you're not even in the shadows," Duo said, taking a casual leaning stance against the wall, holding his own beverage in his hand.

"I wasn't-" she began to say, but the look Duo gave her cut her off. "Fine, I guess I'm not as practiced." She knew he was referring to Heero, but Duo, out of friendship, wouldn't mention his name.

"Sorry I couldn't make it here for Pagan's funeral," Duo said. Relena shrugged her shoulders.

"I understand," she replied. "It has been an… adjustment." Duo nodded sympathetically. She heaved a sigh and continued. "The circus is packing up soon to tour some warmer places, which means Trowa and Cathy will be gone… the estate is going to be so lonely."

"Maybe you should move into the city, someplace smaller and more manageable," Duo suggested. "I'm sure there are a lot of great places to live there, closer to work and all that." This was an option Relena hadn't really considered. Close up the estate and move into the city? It seemed like a plausible idea.

"I'll have to think about that," she said, taking a sip of her wine.

"It'd probably make the rest of us feel better than you weren't way out there by yourself," Duo added. Relena's eyes narrowed, and she glanced up at Duo. He was looking away from her, an extremely guilty look on his face.

"Let me guess…." she began, "this topic has been discussed before, amongst you all?" Duo scratched the back of his head, a nervous gesture.

"Well… Zechs and Noin were going to bring it up anyway when they come visit for the holidays, and Zechs was gonna force you to do it, so I figured I'd make it seem like you'd already decided. Zechs is a little scary when he really wants you to do something," Duo said, his words coming quickly. "Like not telling you about this potential move…" he tacked on at the end, as if it were the last secret he was keeping and just needed to get it off his chest.

Relena huffed. "Zechs can't make me do anything. I'm a grown woman." Duo gave her a skeptical look. "Not true, huh?"

"Nu-uh. Sure, you've got him wrapped around your finger in some cases, but about this, he'd put his foot down," Duo said. He hooked his arm around her shoulders. "Don't worry princess. Everything will work itself out. Now come on, go dance with Trowa. One look from him will scare away any other jackass who might wanna cut in." Relena couldn't help it; she giggled, and allowed herself to be pulled away from her hiding spot and back into the party.

_Trowa_

Trowa watched as Duo and Relena emerged from being half hidden behind a curtain against the wall. The other pilot seemed to have a sixth sense about Relena, a sense that might even rival Heero's. He know there was no romance between the two, just some kind of platonic, sibling affection. Even now, Duo was walking with his arm around her shoulders, laughing and joking with her. Trowa couldn't help but feel a bit envious about their easy-going relationship. Although he supposed that it was Duo's personality that made him so easy to like, most of the time anyway.

Even though Relena had not wanted to attend the ball, she still looked beautiful. She wore a long, sparkling dress of hues of orange and red. She looked like fallen leaves. Around her throat was a string of orange and red gems. When she smiled, as she was doing now, her entire being seemed to shimmer and gleam.

"Hey Trowa!" Duo said, hailing him with a wave of the arm. "Relena needs to have some fun! Dance with her!" She smiled at him, and he gave her a small smile back. With a dramatic flair, Trowa bowed, one arm over his abdomen, and the other extended out, his typical circus bow. As he rose, he swept his arm out in front of him, offering his hand to Relena. She giggled, and took his head. With another dramatic sweep, he pulled her away from the group and out onto the dancefloor.

"I see Duo cheered you up?" Trowa asked, taking Relena's hand in his own, and in a graceful step, joined the other dancing couples.

"Oh a little. He informed me that some of my friends have been talking about me behind my back," she said, smiling sweetly. Trowa's lip twitched.

"The move?" he asked, and she nodded. "Sorry."

"It's okay. I understand the concern," Relena said. "It makes sense, I suppose, to relocate to the city center." Trowa nodded his agreement, though he could tell in her eyes that the idea was not quite what she wanted. Was there anything, Trowa wondered, that she truly wanted anymore?

They danced in silence, moving to the three beat waltz being played by the orchestra. The President was wandering the party, speaking with people. Trowa tried to lead Relena around, to help her avoid a confrontation with him. A few times, Trowa looked into Relena's face, to make eye contact, but her gaze was far off, probably not even on Earth anymore.

"Relena," Trowa said quietly, drawing her attention back to him. "About the troop relocation…"

She sighed, tilting her head, causing a lock of hair to fall over her shoulder.

"I'll be fine, Trowa, like I am every year," she said, sounding a bit exasperated.

"I know, but…" Relena raised her eyebrow, silently daring him to keep talking. "Without Pagan…"

The hurt in her eyes was immediately apparent, and Trowa regretted his words. She looked away, and he felt her grip on his hand and shoulder loosen. Trowa tightened his own grip on her, to keep her from leaving the dance.

"Please Relena, don't take this the wrong way," Trowa said, pleading. "You just can't keep rebelling against someone who isn't here." He tried to keep his voice as level as possible, but it had the worst kind of effect on Relena. Her face flushed with anger, and her eyes flashed. The delicate worry line between her eyebrows appeared. Without breaking appearances, she released him and stepped away, swept her skirts out in a curtsey, and said,

"Thank you for the dance, Mr. Barton." In a flash of flaming fabric, she disappeared.

* * *

><p><em>December 5, A.C. 201<em>

_Heero_

After much deliberation, Heero finally made up his mind to remove the chip. He had dealt with problems worse than trying to control emotions, and he was confident that he could handle it. After formulating a spotty plan, he set to work.

He picked out the sharpest knife possible from the abandoned mess hall, and ripped a couple of mirrors off the walls of the bathrooms. He set them up on the floor of the lab, giving him a near 360 degrees view of himself. He found several sheets and towels, and took his seat in the middle of the ring of mirrors.

Heero felt with his fingers along the back of his neck until he could feel the outline of the chip. He pressed along one edge until he was sure of the location, then lifted the knife up with his other hand and gently slipped the knife through his skin. He winced, but he kept going, making a careful slice down his neck, always watching his work in the mirrors. Blood began to pour down his neck and onto his back. His hand he used to guide the knife was soon slick with warm blood. He continued to ignore the pain.

Cutting through the muscle was much more difficult. And much more painful. But he could tell, through the blood and the skin, that he was getting closer to the chip. After making a little headway, he stopped and used a nearby towel to mop up some of the blood from his neck. He only had a clear view for a moment, before the blood continued to trickle. Grunting, he continued to cut through the taut muscle of his neck.

The knife reached the bottom corner of the chip, and Heero dropped the knife at his side, breathing heavily. He picked up a towel and pressed it against the back of his neck, attempting to staunch the bleeding. Pain radiated from his neck, up into his head and down his back. He was beginning to feel worried about what would really happen to him when he removed the chip. There had been nothing in Dr. J's notes and old files about the possibility of removal. Heero supposed that Dr. J truely did not expect him to live this long…

After a moment, Heero dropped the bloodied towel and wiped the knife off until it was nearly clean. Taking a deep breath, Heero lifted the knife back up, and felt with his other hand, through the opening in his skin and muscle, until his finger felt the sharp, metal edge of the chip. He hesitated for a moment, but tried to bring up Relena in his mind. He was doing this for her. Another deep breath, and Heero plunged the knife in the opening on his neck and wedged the tip of the knife under the edge of the chip. A spasm rocked through his body, nearly causing him to drop his knife, but he held on.

It was then that Heero realized he had no idea how the thing was attached to his body. Heero looked around the mirrors, panicked, trying to figure out what to do. He couldn't stop now. He closed his eyes, released the air in his lungs, and jerked down on the handle of the knife.

Heero's vision went red, and his body went numb. There was a soft sucking noise, then something clattered on the floor. Blood was pouring freely now from the wound on his neck. Heero blinked, trying to clear his vision. He picked up another towel, not feeling the fabric on his fingers, and pressed it once more to his neck. Gently, he turned himself around until he was looking at the knife and a small, silver chip that lay next to each other on the floor. Both were covered in his blood.

His stomach roiled, and he heaved, the contents of his stomach splashing over the tile floor. The world went black as he passed out.

When Heero woke up, his mouth tasted of iron. Slowly, his eyes opened, and he could see a putrid mixture of blood and vomit on the floor. The blood was already sticky as it dried. Heero tried to sit up, but his body felt numb and heavy. When he inhaled, his lungs burned with the effort. He rolled himself onto his stomach and forced his body up. Little by little, he made it to his knees, then to his feet.

Without thinking much, Heero walked himself to the nearest hospital.

* * *

><p>AN: Hope everyone had a great new year! And thank you all for your continued support!

-SE


	7. Chapter 6

Deprogramming  
>Chapter 6<p>

by Scarlet Eve

* * *

><p><em>December 7, A.C. 201<em>

_Relena_

Relena stood at the large window of her office, staring out at the rain. If the temperature had dropped more, it would be snowing, but as it was, the weather still resembled fall. Lately, the rain had been reminding her of Pagan, the funeral, and the emptiness that lingered in the estate. With a sigh, Relena allowed a few tears to escape. They rolled down her cheeks and dripped off her jawbone onto her blouse.

But Pagan wasn't the only thing bothering her these days. The bitter way she left the Fall Ball, after her short conversation with Trowa, had been nagging at her. She hadn't spoken to him since that night, when she'd stormed off and left the party without a word to anyone. The following morning, she'd received a visit from Duo and Hilde, but Relena wasn't in a mood to be social. But they'd stayed, forcing their company on her until she at least had some wine and relaxed for a little while. Nothing about Trowa or Heero was mentioned.

She'd taken a few days to herself after that, working from home, spending a lot of time thinking about her past and her future. She thought she was finally ready to move on. Without Pagan, things would have to change. So why not change other things as well? Perhaps she should start dating. Or pick up some new hobbies, or maybe travel on diplomatic missions to countries she'd never seen. She was still young, and she had plenty of time to live. And perhaps, by moving into the city, she could develop some semblance of a social life. It was no use sulking off to seedy bars and making her drivers angry.

Relena smiled at her reflection. It was a sad smile, but a smile nonetheless. She lifted her hand to the glass of the window and pressed her palm against it. The glass was cool to her warm hands.

After her lengthy talks with Duo and Hilde the night after the ball, Relena finally decided to get a jump start on her search for a smaller, more manageable home, closer to the city. She'd found during her searches, that with the right amount of money, she could live anywhere. A few beautiful old buildings overlooking the Flower Carpet were available for rent. They were townhomes, narrow and tall, some four stories high, many updated with modern amenities without destroying the natural beauty of the architecture. She was seriously considering contacting one of the landlords to request a showing of a townhome.

The chirping of her phone pulled Relena from her thoughts. She reluctantly turned away from the window and stepped back to her desk. Her phone was on her desk, and the caller ID on the screen said, "God of Death." Relena knew she shouldn't let Duo get a hold of her phone.

Relena picked up the phone and answered the call.

"Duo, stop messing with my phone," Relena said without saying hello. On the other line, Duo laughed.

"Ah princess," he said. "I have some… news."

"News? Good or bad?" Relena asked. She sat back down in her leather chair.

"I suppose it depends," Duo said. "I got an odd call just a few minutes ago."

"Alright…?"

"Remember when I kept bugging Heero to let me be his emergency contact, and he finally did?" Duo asked, seemingly changing the subject.

"What does that have to do with-"

"I just got a call from the hospital on L1. Heero is there. They didn't say why, except that he lost a bit of blood and can't maintain consciousness."

Relena blinked. None of what Duo said made sense to her. She ran a hand over her forehead.

"What, Duo? I don't understand," Relena said.

"I'm on my way to L1. Gonna rent a shuttle and hop on over. If you want, I can call you again once I know what's up with Yuy," Duo said. Relena's mind was still whirling.

"Yeah, sure," she said slowly.

"Alrighty. Sit tight Princess. I'll try to bring you some better news," Duo said.

"Okay..." she said. Duo chirped a good bye and the line went dead. Slowly, Relena set her phone back down on her desk, staring at it.

What could it all mean? That Heero was still alive? Or at least was, for the last three years. And why was he in the hospital? On L1?

Frustrated and confused, Relena gathered her belongings and left her office.

"Damn it, Heero."

* * *

><p><em>December 8, A.C.201 - Ungodly hours of the morning<em>

_Trowa_

Trowa led the animals back to their cages in the large menagerie tent. Their last, late night show had ended, and soon, the circus would be packing up to move on to warmer climates. The constant rain had everyone uptight and cranky, including the animals, used to their dry, warm cages. They were fighting with Trowa so they wouldn't have to walk out in the rain. After much coaxing and promises of treats, the animals followed him obediently, sloshing through the soaking wet grass, which was quickly turning to mud.

Inside the menagerie, each creature went to their own cage and climbed inside, waiting to be fed. Trowa slipped off his wet raincoat and hung it up to drip dry while he worked. Fresh hay, food, and water needed to be brought to each cage, so Trowa set to work. For a long time, he worked in silence, just listening to the sound of rain falling on the canvas tent. He allowed his mind to wander, thinking of new acts, new tricks to try or other shows the circus could put on. He'd found a certain niche for coming up with dark-themed shows, which only appealed to the late-night adult crowd. But those shows brought in good money, so the manager allowed Trowa to continue.

"Trowa!" A female voice cut through Trowa's thoughts. He stopped and looked up towards the entrance to the tent. It wasn't Catherine's voice, so the only other person it could be was-

Relena Darlian stepped through the tent flap. Trowa's eyebrows rose as he took in her appearance. She held her heels in one hand, and her nylons were completely covered in grass, mud, and now hay. Splatters of mud made it all the way up her legs and onto her skirt. Her long coat was open and soaking wet, and her hair hung down the side of her face, limp and also dripping.

And somehow the girl still looked beautiful.

"What are you doing here?" Trowa asked, stepping away from a cage and setting down the water bucket. Relena trotted across the tent to him, and she grabbed fist fulls of his shirt.

"Trowa! Duo called me at work," Relena began, her eyes wide, her lip trembling just slightly. "He said… he said that a hospital on L1 called him. Heero is there." Trowa blinked once, still staring down at the girl in front of him. Water droplets were falling from her bangs and sliding down her cheeks, almost like tears.

"Did he say why?" Trowa asked, his hands moving to rest on Relena's waist.

"Just that he had lost blood and couldn't remain conscious. What was he doing, Trowa? You must know something!" Relena cried to him. Trowa sighed. He was torn between the truth and a lie.

"All I know is that he was going to space to research some old files he'd found that once belonged to Dr. J," Trowa admitted. Relena's frown deepened, and a small wrinkle between her eyebrows appeared.

"What does that even mean?" she asked.

"I don't know, Relena," Trowa said. "He just told me... that everything he was doing from now on was for you. I don't know what he found up there or what he's been doing."

He watched her face transform from anger to surprise. Her frown softened a bit, and she blinked at him.

"Why didn't you tell me this before?" she asked quietly. Trowa allowed his hands to drop back at his sides.

"He asked me not to say anything," Trowa replied, shoving his hands in his pockets. The pressure he felt from her unwavering gaze was causing his resolve to crumble. It was no wonder that she made such a great politician. Relena took a step away from him and began to wring her hands nervously. She was glancing around the tent at the different animals in their cages, but her eyes had a faraway look, the kind of look she always had after Trowa pulled her from a bar.

"For what it's worth, I didn't know he would be gone this long, either," Trowa said to her. "If I had, I would have tried to talk him out of it." Relena flashed him a quick, insincere smile, and he knew she didn't believe him. No one could talk Heero Yuy out of anything.

A cell phone began to ring. The two stared at each other for a moment, then Relena reached into her coat pocket and pulled out her phone. "It's Duo," she said. She answered the call and held the phone up to her ear.

"Duo?" Relena's face was sad, and Trowa stepped closer. He was curious. In response, Relena switched her phone to speakerphone.

"Hey there princess. Just wanted to give you an update," Duo said on the other line. Trowa and Relena's eyes met over the phone, which she was holding up flat in her hand.

"Yes, please," Relena said.

"Welp, he'll be alright. He is just sleeping now. From what the doctor said, it looks like he, or someone anyway, sliced open the back of his neck." A gasp escaped Relena, one hand flying to her mouth.

"Why?" she asked.

"Well, they said when they were about to stitch it closed, they noticed something weird. The doctor said, if he had to guess, that something had been ripped off his spine. The way the muscle tore…" Relena's face paled. "looked like a rip, whereas the cut made was a cut from a knife of some kind."

"I don't understand," Relena said, her voice sounding constricted. Trowa watched as her eyes became glassy with potential tears.

"Yeah. I'm gonna wait around here until he wakes up and try to get some answers from him. Want me to call you when I do?"

"Yes!" Relena said urgently. Her fingers tightened around the phone. "Yes. I don't care what time it is."

"Sure thing, Princess. I'll talk to you soon," Duo said.

"Bye, Duo." Relena said, and she hung up the phone. She quickly pocketed her phone and pressed a hand over her eyes. Trowa could see her begin to tremble.

"Relena?" She turned away from him, the other hand clenched at her side.

"This is insane," she mumbled. Trowa stepped up to her and laid a hand on shoulder. "It doesn't make any sense!"

"It's going to be alright," Trowa said to her. Relena shook her head, droplets of water falling away to the ground.

"It's exactly what I was afraid of! That he'd disappear somewhere and get hurt!" Relena cried, whirling around to face Trowa. Her face was flushed, her eyes glassy with unshed tears. Trowa reached to her, and without resistance, she stepped into his arms and rested her head against his shoulder. He held her carefully, though was surprised that her tears did not fall. After a few minutes, Relena lifted her head up, her eyes meeting his, searching for something. Relena reached up and brushed his bangs away from his face, which sent his heart racing.

He looked down at her, her lips turned up towards him. He couldn't help it, with her in his arms… he lowered down and caught her lips in his. Relena's grip tightened on the back of his coat, and almost imperceptibly, pulled him slightly closer. But it only lasted a moment. Relena pulled back abruptly and turned away.

"I should go home," Relena mumbled. She glanced at Trowa over her shoulder. "I'll see you later." And with that, Relena walked out of the tent and back into the pouring rain.

* * *

><p>AN: Thank you again to all my lovely readers!

-SE


	8. Chapter 7

Deprogramming  
>Chapter 7<p>

by Scarlet Eve

* * *

><p><em>December 9, A.C. 201<br>__Heero_

"Fuck."

Heero opened his eyes slowly, allowing his vision to adjust to the bright lights above him. The back of his neck was pulsing with pain, and he had a horrible headache. He reached up with one hand and pressed it against his temple. He could feel his heartbeat. After a moment, Heero looked around. He was in the hospital. Slowly, the memory of walking himself there with a wadded up, bloody towel came back to him. The strange, terrified looks he'd received on the streets. The screams of the nurses when he walked through the doors and promptly collapsed on the ground.

As he lay there, he realized that more than just his neck hurt. There was a dull ache in his chest, approximately where his heart was located. And the world around him… he didn't know if it was the trauma of what he did to himself, but everything seemed less clear, less sharp. He no longer felt like he could just rip out the tubes and wires from his body and jump out the window of the hospital. Those days seemed so long ago now, though that really wasn't quite true. Heero began to feel nervous. What else was going to change? He wished Dr. J would have figured out what happened after the stupid chip was removed.

Something clicked in Heero's mind. He was nervous. That hardly ever happened before…

A sound, like a snore, caught Heero's attention. He turned in the direction of the sound. There was a chair in the corner, and someone was sitting in it, who appeared to be asleep. The hat the person had was pulled over his face. Heero squinted, and then he saw it. The brown braid dangling down, almost touching the ground. It was Duo. A strangely powerful sensation, like relief, welled inside of him.

"Duo?" Heero called. His throat was scratchy, but it worked. Duo stirred and lifted his hat up off his face.

"Hey there buddy," Duo said, pushing the hat back onto his head. Duo rose and stretched his arms up over his head.

"What are you doing here?" Heero asked.

"Ah well, remember that time I kept bugging you to let me be your emergency contact?" Duo said with a grin.

"No."

"Well, you let me, so when you stumbled in here covered with blood, I got the call. You are really puttin' me out here, buddy. I just had to pay for a trip to Earth, now I had to hop on over here from L2?"

"You probably stole the shuttle you used to get here," Heero said. Duo shrugged his shoulders.

"Mere technicality. So anyway, what the hell were you doing?" Duo asked, and Heero looked away. "Well, if you don't feel like talking, I'll tell you whatever everyone else has been up to. Let's see," Duo stuck up one finger. "Quatre is still insanely rich, Wufei is still insanely cranky, I'm still insanely awesome, Trowa is still insanely quiet, and you are still insane." Duo began to laugh at his own dumb joke, and Heero glared at him.

Duo laughed. He was actually laughing at him. "I think you lost your touch," Duo said. Heero's brow furrowed in confusion.

"What are you talking about?" Heero asked. Duo pulled the chair up beside the bed, dropped into it and kicked his feet up on the bed.

"Your glare isn't as scary anymore. That's all. You been seein' a therapist or something?" Duo asked, still laughing.

"No."

"Oh… Well, I didn't tell you what Relena has been up to since you disappeared," Duo said. "Apparently she went a little ballistic thinking that you were going to go kill yourself or something. Quatre sent me a copy of your note. You're pretty terrible at writing letters."

"I didn't want her to worry," Heero said, feeling a bit ashamed, which was also new. Heero closed his eyes, allowing the emotion to course through his body. He didn't like it. It felt… sad.

"She worried alright. Though I'm not sure about anymore. Maybe. She seemed pretty upset when I called her earlier," Duo said. "She's been running off from her driver and sneaking to bars to have a drink after work by herself. Trowa's been having to go out and find her. And about Trowa..."

"Why would she do that?" Heero asked. Duo shrugged his shoulders and crossed his arms behind his head.

"The general consensus between everyone is that she's rebelling against you even though you weren't even there. She got pretty uh, depressed I guess, when you left. It changed her, too. She hasn't been the happy Relena that she used to be," Duo said. Heero stared at Duo as he spoke, and he had a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"And what about Trowa?" Heero asked, his stomach sinking. Duo made a face, like he didn't really want to finish what he was saying. "Tell me."

"I think he's got feelings for Relena," Duo said at last, not making eye contact with Heero as he spoke. Heero suddenly felt light headed, distraught, and… angry.

"What do I do?" Heero asked. Duo looked at Heero skeptically.

"Hurry up with whatever you're doing up here, and get back to that girl," Duo said. "What the heck have you been doing, anyway?"

Heero glanced around, and tried to ignore the welling feelings in his chest. He almost felt a bit like his old self. "Get me out of here, and I'll show you," he said.

* * *

><p>"I didn't know you had a flair for the dramatic," Duo said, looking around the lab at the mess Heero made. The mirrors were still propped up in a circle, leaning on chairs and consoles. The sheets and towels were bloodied in the middle, but mostly clean on the outer ring, except for the spot where Heero obviously passed out.<p>

"I wasn't being dramatic," Heero said, his eyes lingering on the dried blood. He reached up without thinking about it, and touches the bandage covering the stitches on his neck.

"So where's this chip?" Heero stepped between two mirrors and dug around the towels with his foot, until he spotted the small, silver thing. He picked it up carefully between two fingers, then wiped some of the blood and tissue away with a towel.

"Looks like gundanium," Heero said, and handed the chip over to Duo, who took it and raised it to the light.

"Sure does. In a very refined state, too. I didn't think that stuff could be used to make technology like this," he said, tilting it around, catching the light from the dim fluorescent bulbs. "The first question is: how the hell do we read it?" The two men looked around the lab, but everything was mostly destroyed.

"This'll be a problem," Heero said, frowning. Duo nodded, then pressed his fingers to the back of his own neck.

"You sure you didn't find anything about the rest of us?" he asked, and Heero shook his head, no. "I suppose it makes sense…." he said, dropping into a dusty chair. "The rest of us never had suppressed emotions. None of us are as brilliant as you in the middle of battle. Me, Quatre, Wufei, we all reacted to emotions. Trowa… well he's a different story."

"Tragic past," Heero confirmed.

"But you!" Duo said, pointing to Heero with the chip still between his fingers. "You set your own damn bones!" Heero's lips quirked into a grin. Duo leaned back now, crossing his ankle over his knee, and tapped his chin with one finger. "How do you feel now?"

"Are you a psychologist now?" Heero asked, annoyed.

"No, but if the chip is gone now, maybe so is your ability to set bones and be a crazy, calculated killer." Heero frowned deeply at his words. Maybe that was just it.

"I'm annoyed at you," Heero said, like a revelation.

"That's nothing new."

"It was because of your mere existence before," Heero replied. "Now, I'm actually annoyed at your _words_."

"You mean you're offended?" Duo asked, raising an eyebrow. "Like if I called you a total asshole prick?" Heero opened his mouth to retort, but Duo stopped him. "What about Relena?"

The effect was instant. Warmth spread through his chest, and his lips curved into a smile. But it disappeared quickly.

"She's pissed?" Heero asked, and Duo nodded, his fingers steepled in front of his chin.

"She seemed alright at the Fall Ball, at least until Trowa said something to her, and she left," Duo said. "But she's still pretty down. Plus with Pagan dying…"

Heero exhaled sharply. He didn't know Pagan had died. "Shit," he mumbled, running a hand down his face. "What did Trowa say to her?" Duo shrugged.

"She wouldn't tell me. But they were together when I called her the other night, letting her know you were alive." Duo scrunched up his nose. "I wasn't sure about mentioning this, since I don't have proof but…" Heero eyed him intently. "I think Trowa is falling for her. Or has already."

Heero felt like a wave crashed into him, knocking the breath from his chest. Unabated, an image of Relena and Trowa together appeared in his mind, and it made him feel almost sick.

"I can see that makes you upset," Duo said, but without mirth.

Heero didn't respond. He couldn't. The thoughts in his head were whirling, and no matter how hard he tried to make them stop, to think clearly, it seemed near impossible. Heero pressed his hands to the sides of his head, and sank down in the nearest chair. He could feel Duo's gaze on him.

"If this is how people feel all the time, I may just shove that chip back inside me," Heero said, and to his slight surprise, Duo chuckled.

"It's probably a good guess to say it'll take some time getting used to," Duo said. "And anyway, you shouldn't linger here much longer."

"I know."

"Call her."

* * *

><p><em>December 10, A.C. 201<br>__Afternoon  
>Relena<em>

Relena had slept badly the last few days and woke up feeling groggy and exhausted. She'd spent the nights sleeping with her phone, expecting a call from Duo that never came. As she dragged herself out of bed, she thought about what Trowa had told her, about how Heero was doing things for her from now on. In what way, she wondered, was disappearing for three years supposed to be for her?

She got ready for the day, not feeling at all like going to work, again. The sounds of rain had finally stopped, and when she glanced out the window, she saw a white haze covering everything. The temperature had dropped and had begun to freeze everything. She pushed through, applying a bit of extra make-up under her eyes to conceal her blue rings, and added a touch of eye shadow to make her eyes look less heavy. She dressed in bright colors to add to the effect, and headed out the door to her waiting limo.

During the ride, she clutched her phone in her hand, ready to answer. But she made it all the way to work without a single phone call, text message, or even email. She was beginning to feel uncharacteristically annoyed. She realized though, as she stood in the elevator on the way up to the eleventh floor, that she had just begun to try and move on, and then out of the blue, Duo calls telling her about Heero. And she couldn't decide which she would have rather had not happen: the choice to move on or hearing the Heero was alive.

Relena sat down in her chair and stared at her desk. It was just as she left it the previous day, with work sitting out and things half finished. It left a bad taste in her mouth to leave things unfinished, but her while mind felt like it was full of frozen fog, and getting those projects finished was becoming more of a struggle.

"This is ridiculous," she said to herself. She got settled in and pulled a paper towards her. She stared at it, trying to concentrate, but all she could think about was her phone and how unobtrusively silent it had been. She was just about to give up and take an early, undeserved coffee break when her work vid-phone rang. Relena pressed the button to answer, and the screen took a moment to connect. She knew right away that it was a call from space. Finally, the screen changed and a face stared back at her. But it wasn't Duo, and it wasn't any of her colleagues in space.

It was Heero Yuy.

Relena dropped her pen and her breath caught in her throat. She stared at him. He was a mess. His skin was pale and sallow, his eyes heavy with lack of sleep. And there was a white bandage wrapped around his neck.

"Relena," he said, his voice rolling through the speakers of the vid-phone. Relena opened her mouth to speak, but her voice was gone. "Duo told me he called you, and that he owed you another phone call. I figured I would just talk to you myself."

Outside of the range of the camera, Relena was twisting her hands around, trying to contain her nervousness and anger. Her heart was already pounding heavily in her chest, bringing about shortness of breath and a dizzy feeling in her head. She still could not find her voice or even words to say.

"I wanted to apologize for being gone for so long," he said. "I will explain it all to you when I come back. I just need a few more days."

"I thought you were dead!" Relena blurted out, and her hands flew to her mouth. Heero closed his eyes and bowed his head slightly.

"Duo mentioned that. And I'm sorry," he said. Relena looked back at his face, and even through the cameras and the millions of miles between them, she could see sympathy and guilt in his eyes. It was a strange thing to see. "I just need another week. One more week, and I will return to Earth. And I-" he paused, and looked down at something outside of the camera. Relena frowned, waiting. "I wanted to ask if you would help me."

"Help you? With what?" Relena asked, though it came out sounding much more annoyed than she had intended. Even so, she was surprised he had the gall to ask for help.

"I will explain when I return. It would take too much time now."

Relena sighed, her emotions and thoughts conflicting within her. She didn't know what to think or feel about anything. Her heart felt hollow.

"Well," she said after a moment. "I can't make any promises."

"I understand. Good bye for now, Relena," Heero said, his expression soft. Relena tried to smile, but failed.

"Bye Heero," she said, and the connection cut. Relena sat back in her chair, allowing her multitudes of emotions and thoughts wash over her until she felt like she might drown in them. Relena noticed something else about the call with Heero. There was something off about him, about the way he spoke, and the expressions on his face. And his eyes.

"Heero," she said, staring at the spot on the vid-phone screen where his face had been moments before, "you're going to give me gray hair."

* * *

><p>AN: Hello friends! Thank you all for reading and commenting!

I need your help. I have a good part of this story written, but I'm at a crossroads. I could either 1) wrap up the story with sappy ending or something, or 2) keep it going by involving a secondary plot line. If you decide to comment, let me know what you'd rather see.

Thank you!

-SE


	9. Chapter 8

Deprogramming

Chapter 8

by Scarlet Eve

**Go big or go home.**

* * *

><p><em>December 10, A.C. 201<br>__Late Afternoon_

Trowa stood off to the side, holding a cup of hot coffee between his hands. The steam rose up from the liquid, bringing along the rich smell of the coffee beans that Catherine bought special whenever she could. He was watching the packing of the circus. Three days after Relena had shown up at the menagerie completely soaking wet, the rain had finally stopped and the cold air of the coming winter began to settle. The ground had quickly frozen into a hard surface, made mostly of mud. The spring thaw would not be pretty, Trowa knew, looking at the footprints that had been frozen into the mud.

But now, the sun was shining through the cold blue sky, and all around him, preparations for the next jump went on.

His thoughts continually returned to Relena. He knew he'd made a mistake by kissing her and hoped that he hadn't fractured their unstable relationship any further. He was also a bit nervous about leaving her in Brussels for the winter, but Quatre had said he'd keep an eye on her whenever he was in the city. The idea still made him nervous, though.

He planned to see her that evening after work and see if she wanted to get dinner before he left. He wanted a chance to make sure she would be alright, and to say good bye until spring, or at the very least, anytime he might return to Brussels for business.

Trowa wondered if he should admit Relena of his feelings for her. He thought maybe if he came clean about it, he'd feel better. His guilt had increased ten-fold since finding out that Heero was indeed alive and well. Did it mean that he would be coming back to Earth soon? And if he did… would he and Relena resume their relationship? Trowa had tried to avoid thinking about that. Naturally, Heero was first, Relena's first everything, and probably held up higher in her heart than anyone else. Trowa scolded himself for ever letting himself think that she might reciprocate his feelings.

"Hey there, why the sad face?" Catherine asked, appearing beside him holding her own cup of coffee.

"Just thinking," Trowa said. Catherine smiled sadly and nudged him with her arm.

"Smile! The sun is finally out! And soon, we'll be somewhere warm again," she said, her voice cheery, as always. Trowa glanced at her and summoned up a smile. "There you go!"

"When are we leaving?" he asked, looking back out over the progress.

"Tonight. Midnight," Catherine said, then took a long sip of her coffee. A wistful smile came over her face.

"This is so much better than that stuff the managers buys," she said, looking fondly at the black liquid in her cup. Trowa chuckled, and Catherine moved away from him. "Don't stand around and be lazy all day!" she called back. Trowa watched her retreating back for a moment. Though he knew he could be of some help somewhere, he wasn't in the mood. The roustabouts hardly needed his help anyway. Trowa finished his cup of coffee, cleaned it, and replaced it back in his trailer. He didn't want to leave for the winter on a bad note, so he changed and left with his car to see Relena.

* * *

><p>Relena's estate looked deserted. Even the outdoor lights were off. And as the sun set, it threw dusty shadows over the building, making it look like it had been empty for many years. The only thing that told Trowa <em>someone<em> was there was a single window, through which a yellow light blazed. Trowa pulled the car to the front door and shut off the engine, and waited. He was beginning to get cold feet now, as he knew that the inevitable rejection was soon to come. Taking a deep breath, he slipped from the driver's seat and crossed the pavement, his shoes echoing hollowly against the mostly deserted brick estate. Hoping that Relena would hear, he pressed the button for the doorbell.

It was several minutes before he finally heard some noise on the other side of the door. The light in the entrance hall flicked on, and the door was opened by a harassed looking young woman. Trowa quirked an eyebrow.

"Yes?" she asked, staring at him like he was some sort of transient. He didn't recognize her as anyone on her staff.

"I'm here to see Relena. I'm her friend, Trowa Barton," Trowa answered. "I didn't know she'd hired anyone else." The young woman whispered his name, repeating it over, and finally nodded.

"Miss Darlian hired me to be the caretaker when she moves into the city, but she's still here, and she's causing a fuss about everything," the girl said, her voice turning into a whine. Trowa tried to hold back a smile.

"Could I see her? Maybe I can help," Trowa offered. The young woman shrugged her shoulders and stepped back, allowing Trowa into the estate. She quickly took a moment to tie her hair back up into a bun on her head, before waving vaguely in the direction of the stairs.

"She's in her office. I'm sure you know where it is," the young woman said. Trowa nodded, thanked the woman, and headed off towards the steps. The woman disappeared, muttering to herself.

At the door to her office, Trowa knocked and waited. Finally, after a moment, the door opened, revealing Relena, her cheeks in high color, hair pulled back in a long ponytail. It was because of her apparent excitement that Trowa wasn't sure if she was happy to see him.

"Trowa?!" she said. "What are you doing here?" Relena opened the door wider and let him in her office. Trowa blinked once at the chaos. The floor was covered in boxes of papers, and her laptop was sitting in the middle of a ring of folders.

"I uh… I just wanted to see you before leaving," Trowa said, stepping into the room and attempting to avoid all her documents. "What are you doing?"

"Packing," Relena said. "I'm taking Duo's advice and moving into Brussels."

"So soon?"

"It happened quickly," she said, setting a stack of folders down inside a box, standing up tall and tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "I called about the townhome, and when I told the landlord my name, he told me I could go look at it right away! I went during lunch, and I just fell in love with it! I signed the lease right then, and I'll be moving much of my stuff this weekend."

Trowa gave her a sad smile. "I'm glad this move is making you happy." Relena stopped moving and stared at him.

"Trowa…"

"Have you heard anymore about Heero?" Her chin dropped.

"He called me," she began. "He's coming back soon, but he didn't tell me anything more about what he's been doing." She was twisting a ring around her finger, some nervous gesture.

"It'll be good to have him around again," Trowa said, though inside, he didn't believe his own words.

"Trowa…" Relena said again. She took a step towards him. "I…" She paused and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "I think there are some unsaid words between us." Relena took his hand in her own and led him towards the leather couch. They sat side by side.

"I've become fond of you, Relena," Trowa said. He hated the word 'fond.' What he felt was so much more than that. But he felt he couldn't tell her that he loved her. Not now that Heero was back in the picture.

"You've been a great friend to me these last few years," Relena said. "But I think that… I can't."

"Can't what?"

"I can't return your feelings." A heavy silence fell in the room. Both Trowa and Relena held their hands between their knees.

"Because of Heero?" The question hung in the air.

She didn't respond right away, and Trowa took that to be a bad sign. "Not necessarily." Trowa wanted to scoff at her, but he kept it to himself. He could tell she was struggling with the conversation as well. "You know he hurt me by leaving. I won't know how my feelings for him have changed until he returns."

"What if I had been the one you found washed up on shore?" Trowa asked suddenly, and he saw the immediate hurt in her eyes. She looked away, but not before he saw the beginnings of tears in her eyes.

"We can't play the "what if" game," she said, her voice breaking. "I didn't control my fate, or my destiny, just like the rest of you. Things just happened that way. It's not that I don't care for you, Trowa. I do. You've been the friend and rock that I've needed these last few years. I regret that I have been selfish, using you so much for support. But you must understand that things are very confusing for me right now."

"Yeah," Trowa replied, not feeling quite convinced. There wasn't much more he could do, and he was already walking the fine line between leaving her for the winter as friends, or with her angry with him. He made the better choice this time, and backed down. He rose up from the couch, and Relena followed suit, but not before she wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt. "The troupe probably won't be back in the area until May or June next year," Trowa said. "We stayed here longer than expected because the weather stayed warm." Relena nodded.

"I look forward to your return. Perhaps you can visit for Christmas? Or the new year?" He shrugged. "I'm sorry, Trowa." He shook his head, and gingerly pulled her into a hug, which thankfully she returned.

"I may be able to visit. Keep in touch?"

"Of course." Trowa tightened the hug. When he finally released her, she stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. Without another word, without a formal goodbye, Trowa turned and left the office.

* * *

><p>AN: Thanks to the reviewers! Gonna just let the story unfold however it wants. Not till later though. I've had these first several chapters written for like, a year. Lol

-SE


	10. Chapter 9

Deprogramming  
>Chapter 9<p>

by Scarlet Eve

* * *

><p><em>December 11, A.C. 201<em>

_Heero_

Heero woke up in the comfort of a hotel room. Duo had insisted, nearly to the point where he _almost_ offered to pay, but Heero declined, and promised he'd rest at a hotel for a couple of days. The idea was a good one, as he'd been sleeping on cheap bunks for the last three years, and he hadn't realized the number he'd done on his back.

Duo had left the night before, taking the chip with him. Since there was no way of analysing it at the lab, he said he'd see what he could do at home, and with Hilde's help, they might be able to get something off it. Heero was grateful to have the chip in someone else's hands.

Uncharastically, Heero lingered in bed for a while, watching television, and drifting between wakefulness and sleep. He found his dreams to be much more vivid, much more involved, than before. In fact, Heero could hardly remember dreaming during the last several years. A side effect of the chip, most likely. Relena made several appearances in his dreams, as did others, people he knew, people he didn't know. He found it fascinating.

While he lay there, during one of his waking moments, he started to realize how different he felt. He hadn't noticed before, but there must have been some feeling of weight, of extra density, upon his chest. Without the chip, he felt lighter. As he explored the depths of his own mind, he found that the emotions he'd always struggled with to be much easier to understand. He thought back to seeing Relena for the first time, and the original feeling of panic associated with that memory was gone. In its place was something like curiosity. That grew as he pictured the moments with her after that day, including the day she told him she was his ally. Fear had been replaced by relief. It was a strange, yet interesting feeling.

But when his mind shifted gears, and his conversation with Duo replayed in his mind, he found his chest getting tight with nervousness and worry. The implication that Trowa might have feelings for Relena made him feel a bit angry and jealous. Thankfully, his logical mind, which was probably more natural and only enhanced by the chip, reminded him that _he'd_ left _her_.

_Still though…_ he thought to himself. All he could do was take Duo's advice, something he was usually loath to do, and get back to Earth as soon as possible. But first, he needed more sleep…

* * *

><p><em>December 13, A.C. 201<em>

_Relena_

The day of her move had arrived. With impressive speed and determination, Relena had managed to pack all the things that would be moving with her to the new place. Much of the large furniture, such as beds, couches, etc, would be left behind. She'd gone a little overboard as well, filling her new townhome with a lot of new things. She chose wildly different styles than what filled the estate, choosing to go with more modern items. She figured this would make the estate feel more like a getaway than it did now. And when she tired of the city, which would undoubtedly happen, she could whisk away to the estate for a short stay.

Relena watched the movers bring her items into the townhome, preferring to stay off to the and out of their way. Curious on-lookers were stopping and staring, and she'd already heard her name whispered among the crowd. She ignored it, choosing to deal with the whole "the Foreign Minister is living next door" problem once she was settled. Relena had already had a worried call from Une, expressing concern at her safety, but Relena dismissed the issue. Security at the estate wasn't so bad, but in a smaller home, she didn't want anyone else roaming around. She had, however, agreed to video surveillance on the exterior of the townhome, and a few interior locations, such as doors and windows. Most of that installation would happen during the night, when less people would be out and about to see.

The thrill of the move temporarily banished all the negative thoughts and worries in her mind. At least until her phone buzzed, alerting her to a new personal email. Relena pulled the phone from her coat pocket and checked. It was a forwarded email from an address that was just a sequence of numbers and letters. The subject line read "FWD: Confirmation & Itinerary." Frowning, Relena opened the email and glanced through it. It was certainly an itinerary, and the passenger's name was listed as 'Heero Yuy.' Relena's eyes widened slightly, and checked the dates. He would be arriving the following Tuesday, only three days away. Relena became jittery and nervous, closing the email and stuffing her phone in her coat pocket. Looking up at her new townhome, the windows of the third and fourth floor black, and tried to imagine them being occupied by him.

The thought was too confusing, and she pushed it away. As she always had, she had to let go of trying to pre-plan anything with Heero Yuy. He'd always been so unpredictable, that anytime she tried to plan, he'd go a different way, leaving her with a bad taste in her mouth. She tried to forget the idea, but knew it would sit in the back of her mind until the day of his arrival.

* * *

><p><em>December 13, A.C. 201<em>

_Trowa_

The circus train sped south towards warmer climates. Trowa sat in the dining car, staring out the window, while Catherine sat across from him, her fingers laced together and elbows resting on the table. She was staring him down, waiting for him to keep talking.

"I don't know _when_ it happened," he said, finally making eye contact with her.

"That's normal," Catherine said. "What about her drew you to her? You never had more than a passing respect for her as a politician before."

"I've always respected her," Trowa agreed. He closed his eyes, trying to imagine her, her mannerisms, the way she spoke, and her smiles. "But I never spent much time around her before, other than our random meetings. I've gotten to know her. Outside of her work, she's pensive and quiet, and she reads a lot." Catherine raised an eyebrow.

"She wasn't always that way," Catherine said. "We've seen different things, brother. Before, when she was outside of work, she was happy and smiling, and always generous and accommodating. The light has gone from her eyes since Heero left."

The air in Trowa's lungs wooshed out, his mouth moving to speak but no words would come. He lowered his eyes. "I understand the type of girl that would interest you, and she would be very similar to you. You'd both enjoy long quiet afternoons. Relena's not really that girl. She grew up a politician's daughter, and she's blood royalty. She's constantly on the move, and she's actually quite talkative once you get her going. You had no interest in her before she became withdrawn."

Trowa wanted to yell at Catherine, to tell her she was wrong, even if she wasn't. He'd never felt anything beyond friendship and respect for Relena before. But the last three years showed that she did have those traits that he admired. And maybe if she realized that Heero is wrong for her…

"I can see I haven't changed your mind about the whole thing," Catherine said. She began to rise from the table. "You know I'll always love you, little brother, but I think you're making a mistake." She stepped forward and rested a hand on his shoulder, then walked away and left the car.

Trowa sighed and glanced down at the paper lying in the middle of the table. His first letter to her. It explained his feelings for her in a more coherent way than he could by speaking. He was going to send it at the next stop. Catherine had tried to change his mind, but he wouldn't be swayed. He didn't want to believe that she would reject his feelings, though she basically did when he went to see her before leaving. Perhaps that really was all she needed: time. Time to decide that Heero was too different, and no longer someone she was in love with. And maybe with time, she'd come to know that Trowa was the one who was there for her the last few years, and not Heero.

* * *

><p><em>December 16, A.C. 201<em>

_Relena_

Relena spent most of her morning at work glancing back and forth between the clock and the itinerary she had on her desk. It wasn't hers for once, it was Heero's. He'd be arriving at the Brussels International Spaceport at three in the afternoon. She was already planning to meet him there, though she'd gone back and forth about that decision many times. Even now, she still didn't know if it was the right decision or not. She hadn't heard any other information from either Duo or Heero, except for the itinerary.

The most nagging thought she had was wondering how she'd feel to seeing him again. After their initial meeting in A.C. 195, they still had not gone longer than a few months without seeing each other, or without him popping in every once in a while to check on her. But this time had been different. He disappeared for three years without a word. She had a right to be angry, didn't she?

Maybe not, another side of her reasoned. They weren't together, at least not in any official capacity. They'd done things, in the heat of the moment things, but never took their relationship out of the shadows. The pilots and the girls were the only ones who knew anything, besides Pagan of course.

Butterflies fluttered around her stomach all morning. She badly wanted to get the whole thing over with.

The time finally came when Relena called her driver, and he drove her to the spaceport. Relena waited at his shuttle's landing spot, keeping her chin tucked into her scarf, and her hands shoved deep in her pockets. It still had not snowed, but there was a bitter chill in the air that seemed to have come so suddenly after the warm, mild fall. The wind was piercing and strong.

Relena risked exposing her wrist to the cold to check her watch. He should be arriving any minute. Sure enough, a shuttle crested a slight hill in the landing area, and taxied to the space where Relena was waiting. Her butterflies surged once more, and she found herself clenching and unclenching her fists in her pockets. The wind picked up again, blowing her hair in all directions. The stairs were pushed up against the shuttle and the door opened while other workers set to unloading the luggage from under the shuttle.

Several passengers exited the plane before Relena saw the familiar face. He ducked slightly to get through the door, then rose up to his full height, which was much taller than he'd been before. Relena stared, her breath catching in her throat. One of her hands clenched and she pressed it to her chest. He descended the steps, wearing a heavy black coat and jeans, and a green scarf tied around his neck. A bag was slung over his shoulder. He hadn't noticed her yet, so she had a quick moment to stare. He'd grown taller, stronger, and more defined in the last three years. There was a bit of trimmed facial hair along his jawline, which Relena couldn't help but find attractive. His face had become more angular, his hair a little longer.

When he stepped onto the pavement, he looked up, and their eyes met. A jolt rippled through Relena's entire being. There was something unmistakably different about him, about his eyes. He was looking much healthier than he had before, last time he'd called her. But his unruly brown hair still fell over his face, blowing in the wind. He'd grown taller since she'd last seen him; she remembered when they were the same height, so many years ago.

"Heero…" she whispered, pressing her fist a little closer to her chest. A slow smile spread across his face, and he made his way to her, dodging other passengers. Finally, he was only a foot away from her, looking down at her from his substantial height.

"Relena."

She melted. She didn't want to, and she told herself not to, but she flung her arms around his neck.

And he winced. Relena pulled back.

"I'm sorry," she said, pressing a hand to her mouth. Heero shook his head, and patted the back of his neck.

"It's okay." He approached her again, and slipped his arms around her shoulders, allowing her to wrap hers around his chest. He pulled her tightly against him, and beneath his layers of clothes, she could hear the rapid beating of his heart. He was just as nervous as she. Or excited.

Relena remained pressed against his chest for a long time, not wanting to break the hug. She was warm against him, as his body shielded a bit of the blowing wind. The time came, however, for Heero to pull away. "Let me grab my suitcase, and we can get out of the cold." Relena released him and nodded, watching as he joined the huddle of people waiting for their bags. He reappeared, carrying a suitcase with him, the other bag still slung over his shoulder. Heero joined her at her side, and together they crossed the tarmac towards the parking lot, where Relena's driver was waiting with the car.

Robert had kept the car running, so the back of the limo was warm as Relena and Heero slipped inside. Robert pulled the car away from the curb. "Where to?" he called back.

"Home."

* * *

><p>-SE<p> 


End file.
